Sometimes you wanna go . . . Where everybody knows your name And they’re always glad you came. — Cheers theme song, written by Gary Portnoy
Recently I checked into my local gym to work out, and the desk clerk greeted me by name. I smiled. It felt like I belonged.
Now, I am fully aware that the only reason the attendant knew my name was that she read it on the computer screen. Yet a sense of peace settled inside. I belonged to the community of my gym.
Belonging is one of five basic needs that, according to PBSP (Pesso Boyden System Psychomotor), a psychological therapy system that uses a mind-body approach to emotional well-being and peak performance, must be met in order for individuals to become their “true self.”
Greeting someone by name helps foster that sense of belonging, which is so important to well-being and to doing our best. I think my workout that morning pushed the limits more than usual.
A word of caution, though, before you run around the office calling everyone by name. Names are special. They signal that you value the person—not just the skill set he or she offers to get the job done. Using a person’s name to build a positive relationship must be authentic and genuine, not something you do because you read it on a blog.
A few years ago I was trying to convince a sales associate that I needed an “extra” service on an item I had purchased. He called the manager over to explain why the company could not grant my request. The manager saw my name on the contract and proceeded to use it at the beginning—and sometimes in the middle—of every sentence to “nicely” tell me why he could not oblige. I was so irritated by the end of the interaction that I was almost glad I didn’t receive the added bonus. He had taken “use the customer’s name to build a positive relationship” too far. It wasn’t sincere. It felt manipulative.
Using names helps fill an important psychological need, as the song “Where Everybody Knows Your Name” tells us. If you want your team members and colleagues to shine with their gifts and talents and produce brilliant results, make sure they feel a sense of belonging. We all want to be where everybody knows your name.