A pandemic world is often a world filled with fear, and for good reason. With so much change and so many unknowns, our brain is on high alert in an attempt to protect us in this new world.
- Is it safe to go out?
- When will we return to normal?
- What will the new normal look like?
- How will I financially survive, much less thrive?
- What if . . . ? What if . . . ? What if . . . ?
What can we do to be happy with so much uncertainty in our lives?
Do a Quick Fix. Stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system. According to Psychology Today, you have both a sympathetic nervous system, which puts you on high alert with the fight/flight response, and a parasympathetic nervous system, which when aroused, helps you feel relaxed and calm. The relentless news about the dangers of COVID 19 ignites the sympathetic nervous system. Even something simple like seeing someone in a mask can signal our brain that there is danger behind the mask versus a kind, compassionate human who is protecting themselves and others with that mask. To get back to calm and restore balance, try one or more of the quick fixes below:
- Go for a walk – preferably outside and bonus when the sun is shining
- Listen to relaxing music
- Take a hot bath
- Do gentle stretching/yoga – hold poses for 60 seconds
- Deep breathe – try 4-square (breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, pause for 4 seconds, repeat)
- Laugh
- Yawn
- Play
- Pray/meditate
- Sip on green tea
- Combine any of the above for amazing results
Talk to Your Fear. Ask yourself just what it is you are afraid of and don’t judge it. Write about your fears and how horrible it will be or has been in the past when you have experienced those fears. Spend time with each fear figuring out where it comes from. Weigh each fear with rational thinking. Rank it on a scale determining how likely it is to happen. Prediction is an illusion and doesn’t prevent an event from occurring or even prepare you if it actually happens. If you have a habit of predicting gloom and doom, come up with 5 reasons why the gloom and doom won’t happen. Or if it were to come about, list 5 advantages of the situation, or 5 ways you will be okay, or 5 things you can do for support.
Stretch Optimism. Joshua Freedmen, in his Practicing Emotional Intelligence eBook from Six Seconds, states that “research shows that optimism is actually a skill that is learned.” He explains that optimism is not the same as positivity or ignoring problems. “Real optimism requires us to confront reality with the conviction that we can find solutions. When we’re caught in pessimism, it feels as if there are no options.” According to Freedmen, you can make a Problem and Solutions chart. Use the list from the previous Talk to Your Fear section for the problems and then find solutions “that would be possible for someone with a lot of skills and experience. A solution that could potentially work, even if you can’t implement it yet. Next, edit: Are both sides realistic? Then, choose one of the solutions and ask: What do I need to learn or strengthen so I can implement this? Are there people, books or websites that could help you build those strengths?”
Get Busy. I’m not talking the hectic pre-pandemic pace here. Find a project that will be meaningful to you and get to work. Choose a project that will make a difference long into the future. In five years you will look back and feel grateful for the time to accomplish the undertaking. Use your natural strengths and personality traits in a way that will make the project enjoyable to work on. For example, use your gift of extraversion to reach out and connect to people you haven’t connected with for quite some time. Use your gift of introspection to write a chronicled reflection on the crisis and how it has affected not only you, but your friends and family.
Have Variety AND Routine. Both are going to be important to find happiness in a pandemic world. Greater Good Magazine’s article, How Much of Your Happiness Is Under Your Control? tells us “Doing an exercise—like writing gratitude letters—the same way over and over can mean that we become accustomed to it and don’t reap as many benefits. You have to keep your brain alive to possibilities.” And on the other hand, finding some new routines will put our brain at ease knowing what’s coming next. Many of us have new exercise routines or cooking and meal routines as a result of the safer-at-home directives. You may want to find other routines to help your brain find calm within the day. Consider a bedtime ritual/routine such as gentle stretching or a hot bath to move your mind and body away from any bad or negative news from the day.
Bottom line: finding brilliance and happiness does not have to be elusive in a pandemic world of unknowns. Take control of your happiness and find your brilliance with a few simple, yet powerful, steps.