I was once asked by a colleague if I was a “hi” person. What? “Yeah,” he continued. “Do you say hi to people you meet when running on the trail? Do you say hi to your coworkers in the morning? Do you spend small bits of time finding out about their lives, their current work projects, their state of well-being?” Hmm. I had never thought about it.
It turns out there is a term for people who connect with others in an energetic yet focused way: charismatic connectors. Research tells us that teams with charismatic connectors outperform teams whose members bury their heads in the sand of work.
I’ve always been intrigued by charisma. What does it mean? How can I increase my own? Charisma comes from a Greek word meaning “gift of grace.” In practice, it means offering kindness to others. And what could be kinder than taking time to connect and listen? In short, charisma is effective communication.
Almost every job description includes “requires effective communication skills.” Almost every résumé claims “exceptional communication skills.”
Not once does “skilled at email” appear on either. Yet according to Toastmasters International’s February 2017 magazine, “43 percent of workers avoid spontaneous conversations in favor of email and myriad collaboration tools that enable them to have short ‘conversations’ throughout the day.”
How do you increase your charisma?
- Step out of your bubble. Walk around the office. Notice people and what they are doing.
- Be curious and listen. Take an interest even when it doesn’t affect you. Quiet your inner chatter and stop glancing at your phone.
- Think positively. The biggest turn-off is a sourpuss. Stop hunting for things to complain about and calling it “being a realist.” Negativity shuts people down.
- Watch your body language. A picture is worth a thousand words, and so is posture. Slouching, looking tired, or frowning ends conversations. Use energetic gestures to show confidence and passion.
- Keep it brief. Short, lively, and fun is the key.
- No one is off the list. Talk with leaders, teammates, customers, and people who are not on your team or directly connected to your work.
How do you turn on the gift of charisma—effective communication—and raise productivity at the same time? Give the gift of noticing others. When you see the brilliance in people around you, you help turn on the brilliance of the whole team.