Unfortunately, stress is a big part of our work lives. Not only do we need to accomplish the tasks we were hired to do, we are expected to get along nicely with others while doing those tasks. But what happens when people are the problem—not us?
I have been studying workplace stress for the past 10 years, and one story still teaches this better than a stack of research papers.
It was a workday just like every other. She got up, got dressed, sat in the hair-and-makeup chair, and did a sound check. She was an entertainer.
She hit the stage and opened the show as usual. That is when everything changed.
An adoring fan rushed through the crowd, past security, and did what fans—also known as fanatics—dream of doing: they shared the stage with their star.
The star was Céline Dion.
Security rushed the stage, but Céline waved them off. Instead of letting her crew drag the woman off in what could have been a nasty, embarrassing struggle, she chose to talk her off the stage with dignity and respect.
She seemed to be making headway when, out of the blue, the woman threw her arms around Céline—along with one leg.
Céline kept talking, even after that two-armed, one-legged hug, and convinced the woman to walk off the stage with her “good friends.” Also known as security. And the woman did. Respectfully.
What can we learn from Céline about handling stressful situations with others?
We have all been there. Think about a time when someone surprised you at work. You were going about your day, and the unexpected happened. Someone “jumped onto your stage” and stopped you from doing the job you were hired to do.
If you cannot think of a moment that felt potentially dangerous, you will. As Simon Sinek says, “The world around us is filled with danger. Filled with things trying to make our lives miserable. It’s nothing personal; it’s just the way it is.”
Our brain’s overriding job is to help us survive and thrive. That means scanning constantly for threats, potential and real. In that moment, Céline’s amygdala was engaged: fight or flight. What she did next is what made the difference.
1. She kept her calm.
She kept breathing. She kept her prefrontal cortex online so she could think through the situation. Breathing gave her brain the oxygen it needed to make sound decisions. She waved off the bodyguards.
2. She had empathy and made a connection.
She met the woman where she was. She didn’t say, “Now stop this—you know better.” She didn’t shame. She was kind and authentic. It was about the other person and protecting her dignity. Personally, I kind of hate it when you have to be nice to someone you really want to throw a brick at. We didn’t get that from Céline. She was genuinely empathetic, and she used that empathy to highlight how the two of them were similar.
3. She used humor.
She sang Barney: “I love you, you love me.” A survey of executives by Accountemps found that 96% believed people with a good sense of humor do better at their jobs than those with little or no sense of humor.
4. She authentically acknowledged what happened.
After the ordeal, Céline collapsed on stage in a pretend faint—partly for drama, and partly to let the audience know this was not planned and had been a very stressful moment. The guards helped her, and she continued. She said she wished she could connect with every fan personally, but that would take all day and night. This was Caesars Palace, and another entertainer was scheduled to perform. His fans wanted to see him, too.
Four simple practices:
- Breathe
- Empathy and connection
- Humor
- Authentically acknowledge
With these, we can do what Céline did: finish the workday as steadily as though it had been a regular day at work.