This year March Madness, like most years, was filled with excitement, drama, and extraordinary physical talent and skill. Yet what really stood out this year was emotional intelligence. Yes, control of personal emotions, observation of others’ emotions, and the presence and leadership to influence others toward a positive, healthy, respectful outcome for all.

While many fans at US Bank Stadium in Minneapolis were more than disheartened with the calls made in the Virginia vs. Auburn game on Saturday, the announcers and coaches showed what I call ‘pure class’.

Charles Barkley, announcer and Auburn alumnus, was visibly upset his team lost. However, he totally reacted and conducted himself with emotional intelligence.

Three steps of emotional intelligence shown by Barkley:

  1. Barkley admitted he could cry he was so saddened about the outcome for Auburn.  (Awareness and naming of emotion.)
  2. He was aware that not all the fans he was talking to as an announcer were unhappy about the game’s outcome. (Awareness of other’s emotions)
  3. Finally, he was complimentary of Virginia’s talent and respectful of the game officials. He didn’t undermine the referees or the calls made in the game, which influenced the final outcome. (Influence others toward a positive, healthy, respectful outcome for all.)

My friends, it is that simple and that hard. What’s hard is when emotions run high our wise-thinking, pre-frontal cortex, is not engaged because our brain is hardwired to protect us in high-stress situations. Even though it is “just a game,” the Final Four Tournament holds a lot at stake whether real as a player or perceived as a fan. In these high emotional moments, our amygdala highjacks objective thoughts and we revert to immature behavior at the moment. It takes skill and practice to overcome those immature impulses and not act upon them until we can calm down and access our maturity and wisdom.

Believe it or not, Charles Barkley showed us what it is like to overcome those emotions by being aware of what they are, stating them, not hiding them, and moving forward to be aware of other’s emotions and empathizing with them. This is hard, especially when the emotions are not the same as yours. Finally, he did the most important of all as a leader, he worked to influence those around him toward the positive goals of enjoying a sporting event, wins and losses to boot.

Think about the next time the stakes are high and emotions run higher – what can you do to bring out the brilliance of those around with emotional intelligent behavior?